my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
