capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Randomize
