so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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