she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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