Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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