Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
