can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Randomize
