Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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