carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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