it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize