Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
