you would pick up someone in the library
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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