I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
