my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
