I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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