you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
