was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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