walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
