so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Randomize
