just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
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CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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