I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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