There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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