Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
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We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
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You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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