THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
