i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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