apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
