what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
