so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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