Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
