ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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