She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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