Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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