Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
