idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
