i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
