Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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