i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Jerry, you need to find god
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
