I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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