He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
