I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
