Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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