I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
