i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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