drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
