Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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