I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
