i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
