She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize