I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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