words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
My feet surprised me
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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