my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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