i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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