Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
