Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
