just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
