You're completely useless in the revolution.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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