Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
