My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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