Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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