Well douche your snatch and let's go!
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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