once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
