Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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