i jhust puked up my retainher.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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