you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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