Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
