addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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