It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
