So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
