just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
