He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
