This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
